Chip Tears
by Kittykata
Summary: Listening to a song, I was inspired to write an MxM fic. So here it is. Maybe a oneshot? I don't know. Also, happy 21st birthday, Mello! even if it is a day late.
1. Chip Tears

**AN: so hey everyone! Long time no see! So yesterday was Mello's 21****st**** birthday, and I wanted to do something special, but it never happened. Today I was listening to VOCALOIDS (Miku's Chip Tears) and was like…wow. This could so be those two. (Mat and Mello), and this happens while I listen over and over again. xD enjoy!**

Mello looked up as someone new came into the room. He was just a kid, as everyone loved to rub in his face, and he was furious that he was always second to the albino freak. He looked at the newcomer, and took in his slightly red hair, goggles, gameboy, and candy cigarette dismissively. He figured that there was no way this kid would be competition, and turned his attention back to his notes, resuming his studying. He did not notice that the gamer was staring at him from behind his goggles that turned the world a warm, comfortable shade of orange, and blocked everyone from seeing his eyes. Mat looked him, then returned to playing his game, coming over and sitting by Mello. Mello looked down in annoyance as Mat sat on the floor right by his chair, and sighed under his breath. He figured if he was going to have company, they should at least talk some, so he said, "Hey, kid." Mat looked up at him, automatically pausing his game, and raised an eyebrow. Mello twitched a finger slightly in annoyance, saying, "I said Hey. You should respond." When Mat only nodded at him, Mello tried again. "What is your name, at least?" Mat studied him a moment, then said, "Mat," quietly before returning to his game. Mello smirked as he watched the gamer run around as Link, gathering pieces of the triforce. He rolled his eyes, not quite sure why when Mat had talked, a small thrill had run through him, causing his heart to pick up.

When he went to his room, he found Wammy putting a suitcase on the other bed. Mello glared and said, "What is this crap; I do not share a room." Wammy smiled and turned, answering, "You do after today. I'm sure you have already met your roommate." Wammy left Mello baffled, and Mello shook his head, sitting at his desk, and studying in the quiet. Mat soon came up, and Mello glared at him until he muted his game, then just sat clicking away at the game without sound. Mat stayed up late in the night, as did Mello, and eventually Mello went to bed. Mello was shocked when Mat's name appeared on the board listing the order, because Mat was third, and all Mat ever did was play his games. Mello never could get Mat to say another word, despite trying nearly every day. Once they were about fifteen, Mello sighed in frustration, and Mat looked up. Mat studied him, then turned back to his game, deeply concentrating. Mello smiled faintly, leaving the room, and was lost in thought, thinking about why Mat would not talk, and Mat followed him as he always did. Walking through the halls to the cafeteria, he was shocked when Mat said, "I really like people that act just like you." Mello looked at him, asking, "What do you mean by that?" but Mat did not respond, because he was already lost in his game. Mello sighed, and they went and ate together, Mat barely looking up from his game.

When they went to sleep that night in their separate beds, Mello cried inside, because he did not know or understand why he was so attached to the stupid gamer, and he was finally figuring out what stirred when he spoke. It was longing so acute it hurt. Mello was just beginning to think that feelings like those did not apply when they were just friends, but he could not push them away. He stared up at the ceiling, looking at the tiny lines all over it, but not really looking at them. With a sigh, he rolled over, and heard Mat's game give him the victory noise he always sought for. Mello laughed bitterly and shoved all of his feelings away so that there was only a black, blank canvas spread out in his mind. He could feel his control and stability eroding, but he forced himself to sleep.

Over the next year, Mello had to force himself to laugh, even more than he had ever had to before. He felt so hollow, and he realized he liked Mat, a lot. He refused to admit it, and prayed for forgiveness and cleansing every night. The cleansing never came, and he could feel his feeling slowly burning into his soul. Then, two months before he turned sixteen, he noticed that Mat was not at his side. He saw that his lovely gamer was over with a girl with long blonde hair. Mat did not even have his gameboy, he noted bitterly, as the girl was twirled around and her hair flew out behind her. He couldn't see Mat's eyes, but the other boy was smiling, and the girl was laughing. He looked away bitterly, staring at his papers, then gathered them all up and stormed out. He noticed the bitter core of jealousy deep in his heart, and he laughed, showing the world he did not care, then disappeared into his room. He thought back to all the things that he had thought he had seen on Mat's face, and shook his head in disgust. It had all been in his imagination, and he should have known as much. He had thought Mat had been looking at him, but that must have been a trick of those goggles.

He tried to place the girl, but she must have been new, or he must have become more antisocial than he had thought. He saw now that she must be beautiful, but when he thought of beautiful, he could only think of his gamer. He could not believe he had ever thought he might even be with him. He did not want to even think about Mat, so he buried his face into his pillows and cried. He contemplated cutting himself but that would be a sin too, so he just curled up into a ball and thought about how useless he was. He heard taunting echoes of the few words Mat had spoken to him, and he ached inside. He found himself staring at the ceiling again, and thought of the sky. He heard thunder crash outside and wandered outside. The rain was pouring down, and so he walked into it, looking up at the sky, and was instantly soaked. He crushed down his growing love for the gamer and shuddered, falling to his knees, and gave into the tears that had been threatening. He jumped as Mat was suddenly there, and quit crying. Mat gently helped him up, and whispered in his ear after a loud crash of thunder. "I really like people who act just like you." Mello shivered, and Mat helped him inside. They went to the bathroom attached to their room, and Mat gently dried first Mello, then himself off. Mello closed his eyes, filled with longing, then opened them with a snap as he felt Mat pick up his hand and gently kiss it. He looked at Mat, and Mat raised his head, moving closer to hug him.

Mello felt he might snap in the tension that made his body send out little shivers, and then shivered violently as Mat kissed him. He reached up, touching his rosary, automatically stepping back in fear and feeling overwhelmed. Mat sighed, shaking his head and whispered, "I thought you felt something for me. I thought I should find out before I went." As Mat turned around, Mello stepped close, wrapping his arms around the gamer's waist, stopping him, and said, nearly too soft to hear, "Over these years I have fallen in love with you, then nearly given up on it. I wanted to give up on it, but I can't, even if it is a sin. I don't want you to burn in hell with me, though, so go." When Mello stepped back, Mat turned around and kissed him deeply. "Don't you think you are a little extreme?" Mello let out a little moan, kissing him back, and Mat continued his thought, "I don't even know if I care to believe in God, especially if he would condemn us. Mello, I've been in love with you since that first day. I've been so tongue tied, and I haven't been able to make you see that I love you through the tiny hints. If you go to hell, I want to follow you anyways." Mello shivered, starting to shake his head, but Mat interrupted him with a gentle kiss.

Mat smiled and said, "I think it would be too cold go back out in these clothes, and seeing as we're in the bathroom we might as well shower. So why not shower together? It would save water, I'm sure." Mello nodded mutely, stunned at how much Mat was speaking, and smiled, wondering at the change. Now it was him who was silent while his gamer rattled on. Except, this time, they knew they were in love.

**So, should I continue this, or leave it as a oneshot? I really don't know what I want do, so please tell me! :D Sorry, again, for the long absence from writing. Gomen~! **


	2. M&Ms

**So, I've been told this should continue, so here's the next chapter~ I'm actually going to try to give it a plot o.O; partly inspired while I was listening to Glitter in the Air by Pink :D**

Mat ran a hand through his hair, looking at Mello, who was busy blow-drying his hair. The shower had been wonderful, to say the least. He hadn't realized that it would be so wonderful to be so close to someone; watching the water roll down Mello's body had been almost too much. The whole time they had been stammering and blushing, and Mat smiled as he thought back to it, shivering. He had just slid on his jeans again, then cleared off his goggles. He wasn't ready to show even Mello what he looked like without them. He blinked in surprise when Mello came over, eating chocolate. Of course he was eating M&Ms, which nearly made Mat giggle. Mello smirked at him, and offered some to him. Mat tried to reach up to take some, but Mello glared at him and said, "No, silly. You're my dog, and dogs don't have fingers, so eat with your mouth." Mat smiled almost shyly at him, and he blushed as Mat teasingly licked his fingertips before taking a few M&Ms in his mouth, not biting into them, but letting them melt in his mouth. It seemed to have just dawned on Mello what they were eating and his blush deepened. Mat nearly laughed, biting into the melted chocolate.

Mello shook his head slightly when Mat stood up, a small smile on his face. Mat closed his eyes, and Mello put an M&M on his mouth, so Mat opened his mouth and lightly bit Mello's finger as well as eating the M&M. Mello shivered faintly, and Mat opened his eyes, biting into the chocolate, then kissed Mello sweetly. Mello whined under his breath, opening his mouth just slightly, and Mat slipped his tongue in. Mello's arms wrapped around Mat's waist, and the M&Ms slipped from his hand, flying up into the air because of his wrist flicking to curl around Mat. Mat saw the look on Mello's face; it was the look of uncertainty that had showed when they showered together, but Mat was determined to erase it. He ran his tongue along the top of Mello's mouth, feeling him shiver, and explored his mouth. After a while of standing there quivering, Mello decided he didn't care, and returned the favor. Mat moaned under his breath, moving closer, and twined his hands into Mello's hair. Mat pressed him up against the wall, and their mouths parted, so that they could pant for breath. Both of them were incredibly pink, and Mat smiled. Mello let out a breathless laugh. Mat noticed for the first time that there was light coming in through the shutters, and he smiled ruefully before regretfully pulling himself away. Mello whined slightly, disapproving, and tried to pull him close again.

Mat whispered quietly, "It's daylight, and we wouldn't want someone coming in and finding us, now would we?" Mello sighed and shook his head, his breath slowly evening out, and Mat just hugged him. They stood like that for a while until all they heard was the steady beating of their hearts, then reluctantly parted. Mello refused to let go of Mat's hand, so Mat shrugged. It was Mello's choice if they were going to be seen in public, because personally Mat wanted to, but he had figured that Mello would have wanted to keep it secret because he was catholic. They walked down to breakfast together, and people in the hallways stopped and stared at the new couple. Mat smiled at them, and they sat down at their usual table. Soon enough, because of how Mat acted so casual about the whole thing as they ate pancakes, everyone relaxed and were soon making jokes and teasing them. There was only a small group of people in the room who didn't fall under the sway of Mat's charisma, and they muttered to themselves, glaring at them. The group comprised of homophobes, people who hated Mello, and people who were jealous of Mello for having gotten Mat. They smirked to each other and decided that they would get their revenge.

Leaving breakfast, Mat took Mello's hand again, and they were surrounded by the group of Mat's gamer friends. Mat chatted about the newest World of Warcraft expansion, Cataclysm, and they all complained about how many people had spammed the new races. Mat watched Mello smile and shake his head in bemusement, and Mat grinned at him. They went to the gaming room, and Mello was lost as they all started going to do this quest. He heard much debating if they should be Alliance or Horde or a mixture, and finally Mat made them be Horde because he wanted to play on his troll. They reluctantly agreed, then set out to do a quest. Mat glanced at Mello, then invited him to sit behind him. Mello wrapped his legs around Mat's waist, causing the gamer to shiver and smile at him. Mat told Mello that they were going to do this thing called For the Horde, which would probably take hours, so there was no real reason for him to stay if he didn't want to. Mello shook his head, laying his head on Mat's shoulder, and ended up falling asleep. He only woke up when Mat shifted under him and yawned, standing in a place called Goldshire with his friends. He smiled at Mello and said quietly, "We just finished, so go ahead and go heat dinner, we'll join you after we pwn a few battlegrounds."

Mello rolled his eyes, smiling, and gently kissed Mat to much hooting and whistling from the other gamers, then went to dinner. He felt strangely alone and stared at the whole time he was eating, then when Mat still hadn't showed up when he was done, he decided to go back to the gaming room. He was almost halfway there when suddenly he realized he was being followed. He looked behind him, then turned and faced the group of people that were approaching. They had hatred in their eyes, and he met that head on with determination and cockiness. They were angered that he hadn't tried to run and hadn't buckled under their pressure, and they circled him. Mello glared and them coolly, and blinked with a surprise, breath coming out with a soft "Oof," when a fist connected with his stomach. Mello quickly recovered his composure, then opened his mouth to talk, only to find a fist there, and a knee in his groin. He dropped to his hands and knees, shaking in pain, and coughed up blood, but refused to give in and curl up when that's what these people wanted. He didn't even recognize any of them, and he was being pummeled with kicks and punches as they jeered at him. Suddenly it stopped, and he opened his eyes groggily, staring at the thickly muscled male towering over him. He closed his eyes just in time to not get spit in them. They laughed and he shakily wiped it away on his sleeve.

The next thing he knew, he was pinned up against the wall, and the guy was forcing his pants down, saying, "If the stupid fag wants dick in his ass then that's what the fag will get. After all, I'm quite generous, am I not?" His group nodded, and Mello shuddered with disgust. He looked the guy straight in the face and spit a mixture of blood and saliva into his jeering face. The guy recoiled immediately, and Mello pulled his pants back up quickly, then tried to break through the crowd as he heard a loud bellow. He was horrified by the thought that he would get raped, and did the first thing that came to mind. He shouted Mat's name, and suddenly Mat was there, an avenging devil snarling and punching through the crowd. He got to Mello just as the brute was forcing Mello back against the wall. Matt was on the guy's back in an instant, hands around his neck, eyes wild with fury. The crowd dispersed quickly, some of them screaming. Watari got to the scene of the disturbance just as the guy choked out his last breath, and Mat leaned back, panting heavily. Watari leaned over; feeling for a pulse, then shook his head with a grim expression. Mello reached for Mat, and Mat looked up, standing, and touched Mello's hand for just a moment before Watari had whisked him up and taken him to his office.

Mat sat dejectedly in the chair in front of Watari's large desk. It was designed to intimidate wrongdoers into admitting what they had done, but Mat was just too out of it to care. He had choked the life out of a guy to save Mello for getting raped, but the best he could hope for was a reduced sentence. It was murder, pure and simple, and it was nearly time for him to leave the orphanage anyways. He was just turned 15, and Mello was almost 16, so he didn't know what to do. Watari was studying him, then he asked, "Why?" Mat sighed deeply, looking up at him for the first time. "I couldn't let him rape Mello and there was nothing else to do. There wasn't enough time to get you, and if I had let him up for even a moment he would have gotten back up and tried to pummel me and rape Mells. So I had to kill him. I know it was wrong even if he was scum and I didn't even know his name, but please don't send me to jail, please, I beg of you…" As he trailed off, he heard Mello on the other side of the door, and smiled sadly to himself. His boyfriend, oh how good it felt to even think that, was worried about him even though he had just nearly gotten raped.

Watari sighed and shook his head. "I cannot overlook this, Mat. I will give you one last night here, but as soon as dawn comes, I must hand you over to the police." Mat choked on a sob, nodded once, and mumbled a garbled, "Thank you," before going out the door and running right past Mello and to his room. He curled up in the blankets, shivering, and buried his face in his pillows. He heard the door click open, then closed, and felt as well as heard as Mello sat on the bed. When Mello stroked his hair, Mat started sobbing, and shook with his sobs. He cried himself sick, and curled close to Mello, hiccupping. Mello whispered, "What's wrong, Matty? What is he going to do to you?" against his ear, and Mat let out a deep sigh. "He's going to turn me in to the police in the morning. Mello, I love you. Please don't forget about me, but I'll understand if you're…with someone else when I get out." Mello shook his head firmly, face set with determination. "Mat, you're not going to be arrested. I've been needing to leave and go back to the Mafia for some time now, so I'll just take you with me. I won't let you go to prison; that place changes you."

Mat looked at him, blinking, and said, "How are you going to convince them to let me join?" Mello smirked at him, wiping away the last of his tears, and said, "You're a hacker, of course. I know you're excellent at that." Mat brightened slowly, then looked at the clock. It had just turned to three in the morning, and he grinned at Mello. "Let's go, then. No time like the present." Mello returned the grin, then gently kissed him, a flash of sadness in his eyes. "Matty, we can't let anyone there know we're together. If they knew we were gay, it would be the end for us." Mat sighed and kissed him in return. "At least we'll get to see each other. I'll just wait for you to come to me for us to do anything." Mello smiled and messed up his hair. "You really are smart. If you applied yourself, you might have gotten higher than three; maybe even beaten that albino sheep thing." Mat grinned at him, then slowly uncurled and looked around his messily neat room. He sighed, looking at all his gaming systems, and Mello laughed, shaking his head, unable to help it. "You act like they're your children. Which, I suppose, they are in a way. Pack them up and bring them with." Mat grinned at him, then carefully put all the gaming systems in a suitcase, lovingly touching them each, then all the games in a duffle bag. He picked up his stash of money, because he had never trusted to put his money in the care of Watari. Now he was grateful for his distrust.

Mello disappeared for a moment, then came back in tight leather, carrying a bag that had his money and chocolate. Mat laughed, teasing, "At least I don't eat the thing I love most." Mello's face turned a light pink, and Mat's eyes widened. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Mells! I said thing, and last time I checked, you're not a thing, you're a person!" Mello laughed as Mat's face turned beet red, gently kissed him, then headed out of the orphanage. Mat glanced back once as they walked out of the gate at the front, then followed Mello down the long drive and into the streets.


	3. Best Christmas Ever

Mat sighed deeply, looking around, then blinked in surprise when Mello kissed him gently as they walked down the street looking for a place to stay. They could stay with the Mafia, because Mello was apparently the boss there. Mat rolled his eyes, thinking about how Mello had 'neglected' to tell him that, then looked up at the sky, nearly running into a group of people. Smiling, he stuck out his tongue and caught a snowflake on it. Mello elbowed him in the ribs so he would pay attention to where he was walking again, and Mat grinned at him. He loved the blonde, but Mello simply didn't know how to relax about this kind of thing. Mat looked over and saw an apartment complex, and poked Mello, pointing. When Mello shrugged, Mat pulled him inside, only letting go when they were in sight of the counter. Because of the first place they had visited, they realized gay guys were rather discriminated against. The next place had been full, but Mat had hope for this place. It was decent, and it wasn't like money was a problem with the Mafia backing a place for their boss. Mat walked up to the receptionist, smiling at her. She was a teenage girl, and it looked like this was her first job, because she had that slight nervousness that came with that. She brightened when she saw the cute boy approaching, and automatically fixed her hair, fretting internally about her makeup.

Mat just kept smiling, even though he wanted to twitch because of how much makeup the girl was wearing. It killed the natural beauty that had obviously been there, and he mentally lamented the loss. He leaned a bit on the counted and asked, "Are there any rooms open? I need a place for my best friend and I to live, at least for a while." She smiled and popped her bubblegum, nearly causing Mat to wince, and nodded. "Lucky you, someone just left. It's no smoking, though, I hope you don't mind." Mat wailed in his head, but kept it from his face and nodded at her, smiling again. She grinned, acting all pretty, and they went through the process of buying the place. Mello was twitching slightly because of how obvious the girl was being at hitting on Mat, and Mello was feeling rather possessive, but being careful to hide it. Mat finished the deal, and Mello came over, paying for it, and the girl only glanced at him for a moment, adding to his irritation. Mat took the keys, and the girl purposely brushed their hands together, but Mat payed no attention to her now. **(Okay, warning now. XD There's going to be some stuff here; I'll tell when it's over too!)** He headed up to the room, and as soon as the door was shut and locked behind them, Mello pinned Mat to the wall, kissing him roughly. Mat moaned and arced up against him, causing Mello to press close, shivering. Mello licked Mat's bottom lip, and Mat gasped slightly, allowing Mello to slip his tongue into the gamer's mouth.

Mat whined as Mello explored his mouth, and his fingers twitched because his hands were pinned above his head. Mello pulled back for only a moment, allowing them to pant a few breaths, and then was back kissing him. Mat whined, and Mello released his hands, putting his own on Mat's hips under his vest. Mat wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck, pulling him closer, little whining noises escaping despite his best efforts. Mello looked at the gamer, then pushed off his fest, messing up Mat's hair even more, and Mat smiled, out of breath. "Mello, I know we just got a place, but what's the cause of this?" he said between gasps for breath. Mello bit his lower lip, making Mat whine again, and then answered, "I don't ever want you to flirt with someone else again." Mat laughed breathlessly, kissing him deeply, and teased, "That's all? Then I'll have to more often so that this will happen." Mello growled, pressing him all the way against the wall, and Mat smirked, breathing uneven. Mello bit his neck hard enough to bruise, then sucked on the bit of flesh in his mouth, making Mat whimper like a puppy. Mello smirked, and Mat shoved him away slightly, then pushed him down onto the floor, pinning him, and kissing him. Mello closed his eyes, moaning, surprised by the suddenly dominant red head on top of him, and tipped his head back as Mat nibbled and sucked on his neck, licking and biting, then lightly nibbling on his ear.

Mat grinned and kissed him, tongue finding its way through Mello's lips, and dominated his mouth. Mello whined, kissing him, and Mat removed his vest, just slightly amazed to find that he wasn't wearing anything under it. He tossed it on his own vest, and the feathered jacket that Mello had dropped when this had first started. He licked Mello's chest, biting on his shoulders, and then teasingly bit his side, going down to his hip. Mello whined, his body rebelling at Mat being dominant, and Mat squeaked with surprise when suddenly Mello was on top, and then Mat was missing his shirt. Mat whined, then sat up, making Mello sit as well, and Mat unlaced Mello's tight leather pants with shaking fingers. Mat looked at him with a blush slowly forming and turning his face pink. Mat made him get up onto his knees, sliding his pants off with a bit of difficulty because they were sticking slightly, and put them on the pile. Mello shivered, blushing, and pushed off Mat's jeans easily, their boots also joining the pile.

Mello shivered, pressing close, and Mat pulled him even closer, hands in the small of his back. Mello closed his eyes, leaning his head on Mat's shoulder, and then shook his head. "Mat, I don't think I can do this." Mat looked at him with wide eyes, shivering slightly, and said, "But Mells, we're already this far. Please, it's Christmas." Mello opened his eyes, and smiled sadly. "Fine, I'll try then." Mat grinned, kissing him deeply to cut off any more words of uncertainty, and Mello pressed close again, smiling.

**(Okay, I suppose I'm just going to stop now lol. I would continue along that vein but… I don't want it to be too long for anyone not reading it. XD) **After, the two curled up close, breathing still slightly uneven, and smiled, laughing together. Mat smiled and whispered, "Best Christmas ever, Mells. I love you so much." Mello smiled at him, cuddling even closed, and kissed him sweetly. "Yes, my good dog, but you're going to be terribly sore in the morning, Matty." Mat laughed and grinned ruefully. "I'll deal with it, because that was definitely worth it." Smiling, Mat closed his eyes, and Mello stroked his hair. This definitely was the best Christmas ever.


End file.
